RN44062023

STORY:

A grieving New Jersey mother is speaking out against bullying after her 11-year-old daughter was found dead in a school bathroom. The student was discovered by another student inside of a bathroom stall at F.W. Holbein School in Mount Holly, New Jersey, on Feb. 6, the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office says in a statement shared with PEOPLE.

Officials at the school immediately responded before she was rushed to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia; she was pronounced dead two days later.

The Philadelphia Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed that she had committed suicide. According to prosecutor’s office. Her manner of death was complications related to her attempted suicide.

An investigation into the student’s death by the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, which included a review of the school’s surveillance cameras, determined that she was alone in the restroom when this tragic action occurred. The investigation further determined that no foul play was involved.

The mother of the deceased Elaina LoAlbo, said her late daughter had emailed officials at her school and told them she was being bullied just days before her death. She alleged that the school did nothing about her claims.

In one email sent to the school,  the deceased has asked to begin a “trauma club” to serve as a space where students can discuss trauma and triggers, Elaina told the outlet.

Elaina expressed that her daughter “is not the only one” who was a victim of bullying.

“My daughter’s email will not go unheard,” she told NJ.com. “This isn’t about me. This is about our children.”

She noted that Burlington County authorities are planning on closing the case “without completing an investigation and questioning key people or showing me, the mother, any proof of these allegations.”

Just like the school, I feel like they are trying to sweep it under the rug. News and media outlets are now focusing on the overall bullying within the school system. And it’s our turn to be heard!” she continued.

In her obituary, the deceased was described as “a compassionate human everyone wishes they could be. She was truly kind and selfless who inspired others with her radiant personality. 

SENSES (Child Safeguarding and Protection Principle):

Bullying is an aggressive behaviour that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. It is a repeated behaviour and can be physical, verbal, or relational. Bullying behaviour is a serious problem among school-age children and adolescents.

Preventing and stopping bullying involves a commitment to creating a safe environment where children can thrive, socially and academically, without being afraid.

The effects of bullying last beyond the time of torment and can affect the health and well-being of the victim. Any form of bullying can cause physical illness, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem or suicidal thoughts and acts.

As primary and secondary parents we must be observant towards our children for signs of bullying that way we can be able to address the issue expediently.It is quite sad that in the instant case the deceased had tried to speak up against the bullying she was experiencing but got no form of addressed by the school. when children are able to speak up regarding issues they as dealing with we must as primary and secondary parent listen to them and seek measures towards seeking a solution to the problem. it is import we understand that we must be a solution in the lives of our precious children and not the problem. 

 Some warning signs for children that are being bullied can include:

• Torn, missing or damaged pieces of clothing or other personal belongings
• A child being afraid of going to school or attending school activities
• Taking long “illogical” routes when walking to or from school
• Appearing sad, moody, anxious or depressed when home from school
• Experiencing a loss of appetite or low self-esteem
• Frequent complaints of headaches, stomach-aches or other physical problems
• Having frequent bad dreams or trouble sleeping

Some warning signs for children that bully others can include:

• Having a positive attitude toward violence
• Having a strong need to dominate
• Being impulsive, aggressive or easily angered
• Lacking empathy
• Being defiant and aggressive toward adults, including teachers and parents.

STONE: (Call to action):

As parent we often ponder how to address issues of bullying and options we can teach our precious children to act if faced with any act of bullying. Some of these options are:

• Suggesting your child ignore the bully; act as if they don’t care and walk away.
• Encouraging your child to make friends with other children. 
• Teaching your child to talk to trusted adults.
• Being sure your child knows to report the situation to their teacher, school counsellor or another trusted adult.

What if your child witnesses bullying?

Bystanders of bullying have the power to be part of the problem (hurtful bystander) or be part of the solution (helpful bystander). Here are some ways your child can become a helpful bystander:

• Tell the bully to stop. If the bully is not getting the attention they are seeking, they may stop.
• Get help from a trusting adult. This supports the victim and will hopefully lead to the end of the bullying.
• Support the victim. Being a friend to someone in need says a lot about your child’s character. Everyone needs a friend.

Some parents would ask, what if your child is the bully?

Having your child bullied is hard, but having your child be the bully could be harder. There are steps you can take as a parent to turn these behaviours around.

• Be a positive role model. Your child is watching and listening.
• If your child is bullying others, take it seriously. Set firm and consistent limits.
• Help your child understand that bullying hurts and there are better ways to get what they want.
• Seek help from professionals.

Source: peoples.com