ADEGBOYEGA ADENEKAN: BETWEEN PROFESSIONALISM AND SENSATIONALISM: HOW DO WE GET JUSTICE FOR THE CHILD AND SOCIETY AT LARGE?

I have followed with keen interest since its inception the accusations levied against the above-named teacher and I think I owe my conscience, the precious African Child and the society at large a very urgent duty to share my professional view on same.

That our precious children are under the siege of child sexual abuse today like never before is visible to the blind and audible to the deaf.

That I have spent the last 2 decades of my life defending the rights and protection of our precious children, even when it was not popular to do so speaks for itself for those who have followed my work.

That all hands of every men and women of conscience must tirelessly be at work to prevent and protect our precious children, must become a noble anthem in our daily existence must not be ignored for another second.

I am for the precious African child till the end of my day, but more importantly, I am for JUSTICE…The purpose of Justice is to create a just society for all…It is my honest opinion that it is only in a just society that the rights of our precious children can find expression. It is therefore my submission that anyone who is for the interest of the child must first be for justice…

I have read reports that have been circulating the picture of the accused as a rapist. I do not think it is right. Under our criminal justice system, an accused before the court is considered innocent until proven guilty and convicted by a court of competent jurisdiction…I think hastily going ahead to convict a man, who is still standing trial before a court of Justice in the court of Social Media is to say that least unjust, unprofessional and sensational.

I do not think this helps the cause of the child for protection in any way… While I believe in Naming and Shaming, I do not believe or accept a kangaroo approach to same. Since we have not been constituted as a court, we can only name and shame a person, who has been convicted by the court.

This approach of taking the laws into our hands because we have access to the Social  Media destroys the fabrics of our society and fan the dangerous ember of disorder and chaos…It is not in anyway a good example to our precious children.

Though, I lost my virginity and the essence of my sexuality and innocence at the tender age of 6 and was thereafter thoroughly messed up, God has helped me not to harbour anger and hatred against my abuser and my caregivers, who created the loophole. They were also victims, who need help.

While I agree that abusers must face the full wrath of the law and salute the noble efforts of the Lagos State Government in leading a revolution in this area, it is my well considered opinion that the ultimate solution to the protection of our precious children from all forms of abuse does not ONLY lie in the hand of the justice system.

By the time we are approaching the justice system, a child is already abused. I do not think there is any punishment meted to a convicted abuser that can bring spiritual, physical, emotional and medical remedy to the child…Why? A child is not created for any form of abuse… Therefore he/she must be protected by every means necessary from all forms of abuse.

That is why I have been interested in the principle that ENLIGHTENMENT is Superior to ENFORCEMENT™. Enlightenment requires an holistic approach to solving the problem of child abuse like every other social problem…I have taken time to share my views on the foregoing and I will skip it as discussion for another day.

I think I should rest my case here as I call for a higher level of activism and maturity in our representation of the best interest of the child. We don’t need SENSATIONALISM to make the case for the protection of our precious children. We only need GOOD CONSCIENCE, CONSISTENCY, the RIGHT NARRATIVE and STRATEGY and BEST and GLOBALLY COMPLIANT PRACTICES.

Please, if you believe in this message I urge you to share. Thank you and do have an INSPIRED day.

Yours IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE PRECIOUS AFRICAN CHILDREN,

Taiwo ‘ODINAKACHUKWU’ AKINLAMI (The Preacher)

T: 2348033620843, 08056979605 W: http://www.taiwoakinlami.com B: http://www.taiwoakinlamiblog.com T: @taiwoakinlami

 

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TIP 124: YOUNG PEOPLE, VALENTINE, SEX, LOVE AND ALL THAT (1)

“I need you to understand that if love is sweet, responsibility is the spice. I charge you to live responsibly this season and at all times.

My dear and precious young ones. I am glad to be with you today. I am through with our journey and I just feel I should leave a word with you on this matter of Valentine’s Day.

It is important I discuss it because valentine is a day that is usually abused by young people like you. Young people give themselves to huge immorality in the name of love. Permit me to share with you two major facts about love. The first is that love does not destroy. Love builds. Love does not take away your dignity. Love empowers you. Love does not make you trade the glory of your future for today fleeting pleasure.

Lastly, I need you to understand that if love is sweet, responsibility is the spice. I charge you to live responsibly this season and at all times. Do not be deceived, as I have said before on this page, your body as a child (any one below 18) is not made for sex; your mind cannot handle sex. Therefore do not be distracted. Make the pursuit of your future, your priority today and always.

The word ‘love,’ I must say is one of the most misunderstood and misused words among young people the world over today. As far as many of you are concerned, engaging in premature sexual relationships with the opposite sex is the ‘greatest sacrifice’ that can be made in the name of love.

While accepting that nothing but love should be the only sane reason why a relationship as intimate as sexual should exist between a male and female, it is my deep belief that love as the basis of sexual relationship cannot be properly considered without looking at the purpose(s) for which sex was created by God in the beginning, which equally extends to and explains the parties between whom it (sex) is expected to be practiced.

It must be understood that ‘when the purpose of a thing is not known its abuse is inevitable,’ says Dr. Myles Monroe.

As we have established earlier in other related discussions, one of the reasons sex exists is for procreation. Now, who are the parties entitle to engage in sex for the purpose of procreation? I deeply believe that procreation is strictly a business between a male and a female who are legally married.

I also believe that sex represents a covenant relationship and celebration of genuine devotion between male and female. Under the English family law, sex is considered as the final seal of a marriage contracted under it. The process of an English marriage is incomplete until it is consummated. To consummate a marriage is for the husband and wife to have sex after the wedding.

Having defined the reasons for the existence of sex it becomes clear that the place of love (mutual and intense affection) as the motivation for sex cannot be contested. One fact that is not equally contestable is that such love (mutual and intense affection) that leads to sex is subject to growth, trust and intimacy. Thus affection does not just happen between a male and female. Even when it begins to exist it does not become mutual and intense in a day or short time. It is never a case of two people meeting themselves at a night party or on the street and same day, two or three days later they claim to be crazily in love without knowing anything about one another.

I think I should round up here. I will bring this whole journey to a glorious end tomorrow. Do have an INSPIRED day.

The THINK Factor

What exactly do you think about valentine? What has been your personal experience and that of those around you during Valentine’s Day? Take time to really reflect and share your thoughts in your S.A.F.E™ 4 YOU Personal Journal

Extracts from my book for Teenagers and Young Adults: S.A.F.E™ (Securing A Friendly & Protective Environment) for YOU: 125 Daily Tips, presented to the public on Monday, November 20, 2017.

I am Taiwo ‘ODINAKACHUWU’ AKINLAMI, Total Childhood Management and Child Development Expert, 2348033620843, 08056979605 W: http://www.taiwoakinlami.com B: taiwoakinlamiblog.com T: @taiwoakinlami E: Principal@taiwoakinlami.com

THE SOBER REFLECTIONS OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL ADULT ON A PILGRIMAGE

Take it from me, in many ways that I have come to understand and accept, that may even be beyond what I understand; in ways that I may never understand and may never be able to explain, I am a dysfunctional adult, who found God’s grace to fight and win my many battles of life.

What I lose to my dysfunctionality or dysfunctional state is unquantifiable…Take if from me, I am not a normal human being and it is not a cliche…Daily, I carry the cross of my truncated childhood…As I advance in age and understand how this life works, I continue to discover that the foundation of my dysfunctional adulthood was laid and solidify in childhood…My fate, having been sealed in childhood in the hands of unschooled, but sincere caregivers, who were themselves victims of their own childhood, I arrived at adulthood totally unprepared for the enormous responsibilities thereof…

20 years ago, I encountered Christ and began to learn on the job of being an adult… I hope we know that any time someone tells you he/she is learning on the job, someone is paying the school fees. I, with the help of Christ have been paying the school fees of learning on the job of life and I tell you my dear friends, no school fees can be more expensive anywhere in this whole wide world than this…The curriculum is also a very difficult one, if not seemingly impossible…It is mainly to unlean the programs installed by truncated childhood and reinstall the serenity of spirit,
sanity of mind and innocence of intent, which were gratuitously bestowed on me by my perfect Maker…

I have been in the laboratory of change in the last 20 years, a sacrificial and self-inducted guinea pig, trying to cooperate with God to undo the impact of wrong upbringing… It has been a great work and walk with the Lord and these days, I hear Him whisper to me that MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS…

Why does He say this to me? It is because He recognises that the impact of an abused childhood is eternal. His intervention only helps the one who carries the cross of abused childhood to be all that He created him/her to be despite the cross he/she carries…The one who carries the cross of abused childhood must first find Him and accept the albatross laid on him/her by his/her childhood before he/she can access this help…Many are today, who never find my Lord and many are, who find Him but never bring themselves to acknowledge the damage done to their humanity from childhood and therefore remains in Him and with Him but never seek His help in the dimension, I explained above.

What is the basis of my reasoning in the foregoing paragraph? Well, I think from my personal experience and careful study of God’s value system, He did not create any man or woman to experience childhood abuse or any form of abuse at all…Imagine that when by injury a mark is made on the body of a person that such mark can never disappear, irrespective of the expertise of the one who treated it…As it is with the physical body, so it is with the soul of man, the seat of his mind, will and emotion… Once it is tampered with negatively, the scars are forever…The best of therapy is not designed to return an abused man or woman to status quo ante…It is designed to help man to make the best of his/her existence despite the impact of his/her childhood abuses… There is no emotional intelligence promptings that can replace damaged emotions from childhood…There are no spare parts to replace damaged emotions, truncated self esteemed and lost personal identity…It is only in God that there help and it is gradual…As it takes time for physical wounds to heal, it takes more time for inner wounds to first be properly diagnosed and begin to heal… Matters of the heart are often deep matter whether unto joy or unto sorrow…I guess that is why the Holy Writ says, ‘each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.’ Proverbs 14: 10

It is my irresistible conclusion that any solution to human problem, irrespective of its category, which doesn’t take into cognisance his/her childhood experiences will never be complete…We are today a sum total of all that our childhood offered us…That is why I say, ‘childhood is forever.’
Who we are today is our psychology and the author and the finisher of our psychology is our socialization. Thus I often say ‘socialization is superior to psychology.’ Yet we have so much respect and concern for what people do and how they bless or hurt us but we have little or no concern for how they were raised or erased…What a classical case of a world burried in its own self-inflicted illusions, demanding from itself what it did not invest in and seeking rigorously to reap where it has not sown or the futility of hoping not to reap what it has sown…

This is the world in which the dysfunctional Preacher lives and tries to make sense of the mess created by his truncated childhood. As The Preacher, looking face to face at age 50 and embarks on another pilgrimage of seeking meaning and bringing the impact of a troubled childhood under yet more control, attending yet another destiny fixing meeting in the mountains of Colorado Springs, United States of America, he remain sober and resolute that no child shall be abused under his watch…

He remains resolute that the greatest gift our world can give to a child is to preserve his/her childhood…In fact, it is the greatest gift we can give to humanity, now and yet unborn…His story remains his greatest motivation…

Do have an INSPIRED day…

I am Taiwo AKINLAMI, The Preacher, sober and reporting from the place of pilgrimage and spiritual retreat. Do have an INSPIRED week.

C) 2017 by Taiwo ‘ODINAKACHUKWU’ AKINLAMI (The Preacher) All Rights Reserved T: 2348033620843, 08056979605 W: http://www.taiwoakinlami.com B: http://www.taiwoakinlamiblog.com T: @taiwoakinlami