Human and Social Hindrances to Child Protection: The Comatose Regulatory Bodies

These ones are supposed to ensure level playing field to child related matters practitioner but they are asleep. In fact in most cases they are snoring. They have everything but the political will to protect the best interest of the child. Take for example the educational system in Nigeria.It is like the ministries of education had abandoned their responsibilities, particularly in respect of private schools. Many are private schools, which are not registered with the ministries of education both at the state and federal levels.

I was in a meeting the other day when an official of the ministry of education in one of the leading states in Nigeria argued that a program aimed at creating awareness for the Child’s Rights Law of the State should not be taken to schools, which are not registered. I kicked against the position and posited that it is the failure of the ministry of education that they do not solution to the problem of school running unregistered. I further stated that to exclude the unregistered school will mean to open children, who attend such schools to abuse.

It goes without saying that when a school is not registered, it is not regulated and when it is not regulated, the lives of the pupils and the teachers alike are at the mercy of the school owners. Expecting teachers to give their best in an unregistered and unregulated school is almost a laughable attempt at hallucination. Even for schools that are registered, I am not aware that are stated conditions of engagement of teachers. The conditions of service, including remuneration are left to the whims and caprices of the school board and owners.

The ministries of education and all other agencies must arise and regulate the school system in Nigeria. They must the interested in the welfare packages of teachers and other in the workforce of the school system.

I beg to sign out here. By God’s grace, I will be back here tomorrow to discuss another hindrance. Do have an INSPIRED day. I charge you today to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…

 

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Human and Social Hindrances to Child Protection: The Positive Example Deficient Custodians(2)

In my audio book, ‘Stories, Senses and Stones: Abused Childhood, Transformed Adulthood,’ I shared extensively all the vices, I picked from my parents, observing their lives. My father died at the age of 82 when I was 39, he never sat down to instruct on any issue of life. Please note I am not exaggerating. Or to be on the safer side, maybe I should put it this way; I cannot remember my father instructing me on any issue of life. But I have been dealing with his examples daily since February 16, 1996, yet I am still work in progress. I titled this example: ‘a test of dad’s mind power’in my audio book just mentioned above: ‘I was about 12 years old when Dad got a car loan from the National Bank and bought a two-door Volkswagen Beetle. Due to human frailty, which is common to all, dad lost the particulars of the vehicle. I followed him to the car dealer. I did not know the details of their discussion, but dad sat in the office of the dealer and wept profusely. The car dealer later got angry and retorted, ‘why is this man crying like this? Please come and remove this man out of this place o.’

I further shared in my audio book,dad, needed to have been strong. The issue was not as complex as to warrant him breaking down in public. In retrospect, I wondered why dad would weep for losing the documents of his car when all he needed to do was to swear to an affidavit of disclosure, get a police report and approach the car dealer and other authorities to reissue another set of documents. I began to think that if dad could weep for losing his car documents, only God knows what he would have done if he had lost the car.’ I concluded, ‘that experience and the impression it left stayed with me for many years… Parents must be strong in the time of trouble. We must learn to provide leadership and become the mainstay of our children. Our despondency and fear should be kept to ourselves until we overcome. After overcoming the situation, we may teach our children the principles and how we took the decision that brought the family out despite the parents’ sense of fear and despondency.

There is an example is use when I disseminate one of our programs, The TeacherFIRE™ Revolution to teachers and non-academic staff in private and public schools. I think I should share it here. I titled it, ‘The Unknown Teacher and the Bathroom Slippers:’ ‘It was career day in a primary school and children were asked to come to school modelling the profession they intend to pursue in the future. A child (few weeks to her 4th birthday), who wanted to become a teacher, had a running battle with her parents, when she packed a pair of bathroom slippers. The parents insisted that a pair of bathroom slippers is not in the dress code of a teacher. The child insisted it was. When the parents further probed, the child said, ‘our teacher in some cases wear a pair of bathroom slippers to the class room to teach.’

The first is that custodianship of a child is the most credible example in leadership. We will not excel in it and make indelible impacts in the lives of our children, except we first lead ourselves successfully as custodians and provide our lives as examples for the children under our care to follow. To lead ourselves successfully, we must as matter of supreme necessity submit ourselves to God by embracing the universal principles, which He has put in place to govern this world. The second point is that we must watch our company. Our company and the people we expose our children to will either reinforce our examples, where they share our philosophy of life or neutralise or replace our examples where they do not share our philosophy. The third point is that there are no minor or major examples. Our children follow all of our examples whether we try to cover it up or not. It is their God-given gift to see beyond our words and go for our example. It is called the power of observation, powered by natural intelligence. I tell custodians to be careful how they express their fears and disappointment before their children. Many parents scream hysterically in the presence of their children because they see roaches and rats. Before you know it their children follow their examples. Another point is that to do one thing and instruct our children to do the contrary is to frustrate our children and incur their anger. It is an express initiation of our children to multiple personalities. Example is the greatest inspiration for our children to live meaningful lives. Many custodians only have positional influence on their children and not inspiration. Influence works with authority. Inspiration works by example, Inspiration is what makes our children follow us. Lastly, the depth of the love respect of our children for us is by the example we show. I once spoke to a teenager, who is very angry with his father because of his bad examples, which he took time to enumerate to me. He said and I quote, ‘I love my father because God commands so, but I do not respect him for the kind of live he lives. I do not want to be, like my father in any way.’ The question is, are we ready for the unedited opinion of our children about us?

Today, I urge us to be conscious of the truth that the most invaluable legacy we MUST leave for our children is our example. Thomas Morell, a man who lived by godly examples admonished, the first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.’ The Holy Writ says, ‘A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children…’ I do not think the Holy Writ value physical inheritance above virtues as inheritance. Hear the Holy Writ: ‘A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, Favour is better than silver and gold.’

I beg to sign out here. By God’s grace, I will be back here tomorrow to discuss another hindrance. Do have an INSPIRED day. I charge you today to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…

Human and Social Hindrances to Child Protection: The Positive Example Deficient Custodians (1)

These ones do not understand the value of example and its superiority over any other way of instructing the child. Though, I have earlier discussed these ones briefly, I have decided to discuss them in more details and as the last of the threats in the home front because they are the cardinal of all the threats.
These ones do not understand that example is a priceless legacy. I also did not see example as a legacy before I began to find and fight my way out of the impact of an abused childhood. I found that I remember many things, which my parents said but I remember more, what they did. I realised that my life was a direct product of their example. I realised that the greatest liability they left behind was not their poverty. It was their example. As matter of fact, their poverty was part of their example.
Observing, my life through the eye of my childhood and the battle of transformation to responsible adulthood, which I have fought in the last 15 years through the grace of God, I came to the resolutely irresistible conclusion that one example is worth more than one million words. I also concluded that there is no inheritance that can be left for a child better than examples. I see that example sets up the child for greatness or for disgrace. What people call ancestral or generational curses are rooted in attitude, which has been passed from generation to generation and it has become of stronghold of example. It will take a stronger example to undo a prevailing example. I realised that example has a life of its own and produces after its kind.
Now, as I study the intriguing philosophy and psychology of example, I found that it is one of the mysteries of childhood. God created children to learn by example. May I be a bit extreme and yet logical and say that children do not learn except by example. They are not also led except by example. It must first be demonstrated before it is taught. Thus the popular saying, ‘children do not do what you say, they do what you do.’ I love the way Aristotle put it, ‘Character may almost be the most effective means of persuasion.’ I believe this is how it works, our examples create a PRECEDENT OF POSSIBILITY, the PRECEDENT OF POSSIBILITY create a CONSCIOUSNESS OF POSSIBILITY among your observers and a CONSCIOUSNESS OF POSSIBILITY produces an ENVIRONMENT and the ENVIRONMENT incubates and hatch like-behaviour. The book that I read says, Christ was tempted in every way, yet He did not sin. Therefore He became a PRECEDENT OF POSSIBILITY for all desire to live a righteous life.
I see and hear a lot of debate on discipline and child development without definite attention on the meat of the matter: EXAMPLE. Discipline does not take place except by example. A disorganised custodian cannot teach the child to be organised. The true definition of discipline is to help a child to be conscious of his dignity of human person. A custodian, who does not respect his dignity of human person, will not teach the child dignity of human person. Any custodian, who perpetrates any form of abuse against the child loses his right and fails in his duty to discipline the child.
I have asked the question? Which examples have the most lasting impression on the child? It is the examples of his immediate custodians, parents, guardians, teachers/instructors, friends, media, particularly New Media (internet). All these living and non-living entities lead the child by example. These entities are in two categories: the first is the parents and those approved by the parents. It is said that first impression lasts a lifetime. Maria Montessori has informed us that 80% of the personality of the child is formed between ages 2 and 6.
Unknown to the positive example deficient custodians, every virtue and vices are taught by example. Godliness is taught by example, so it ungodliness. Love is taught by example so is hatred. Tolerance is taught by example to is intolerance. Kindness is taught by example, so is unkindness. Wisdom is taught by example so is foolishness. Peace is taught by example, so is chaos. Generosity is taught by example, so is tight-fistedness. Corruption is taught by example, so is honesty. Faithfulness is taught by example, so is infidelity. Loyalty is taught by example, so is disloyalty. Self-control is taught by example, so is indiscipline. Prudence is taught by example, so is wastefulness. Purposeful living is taught by example, so is spur-of-the-moment living. Promptness is taught by example, so is lateness. Strength is taught by example, so is weakness. Boldness is taught by examples, so is fear. Integrity is taught by example, so is crookedness of character. Excellence is taught by example, so is mediocre. Gentleness is taught by example, so is roughness. Inspiration is taught by example, so is discouragement. Graceful words are taught by example, so are harsh words. Calmness is taught by example, so is anxiety. Humility is taught by example, so is pride. Neatness is taught by example, so is messiness. Telling the truth is taught by example so is lying. Optimism is taught by example, so is pessimism. Sexual purity is taught by example, so is sexual impurity. Creativity is taught by example, so is lack of it. Dignity of labour is taught by example, so is laziness. Orderliness is taught by example, so is disorderliness. Successful marriage is taught by example, so is an unsuccessful one. Principles of greatness are taught by examples, so are the principle of self-centred living. The list is endless. Abraham Lincoln says, ‘for a man to train up a child in the way he or she should go, he must walk that way himself and come back to take the child to go with him.’

I beg to sign out here. By God’s grace, I will be back here tomorrow to finish this discussion. Do have an INSPIRED day. I charge you today to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…

Human and Social Hindrances to Child Protection: The Superstitious

These ones have no basis for their beliefs and conclusion. They have no respect for logical and premise thinking.  They live by what they call the traditions of their forefathers. These are traditions they have not taken time to assess or reassess. They have not even stopped once to ask any question about its benefits and otherwise. These ones live a large part of their lives on assumptions. The fact that they have access to formal education does not help what they believe. Many of them believe that the girl child is inferior to the boy child. The incredible advancements that women have attained in our society appear not to instruct people with this backward belief.

These ones live by a general misconception that until a family has a boy child, they do not have children yet. Many have countless children they do not have any plan to take care of in the name of looking for a boy child. I do not understand why the sole reason of bringing a child to this world would be a search for a particular sex. The misconception about the girl child is huge. Some even go ahead and have secret boy children where their wives are not able to give them the desired boy child.

Recently, these superstitious souls in a particular state in Nigeria accused their own children of witchcraft and maimed and killed them. They were even joined by religious leaders. Their so-called knowledge of God did not help them to see the children being accused as gifts from God to humanity. God created children and not witches. The truth is superstition has no soul and human feeling. It is not predicated on facts and tested principles of life. It is the foundation of prejudice and paranoia. Yet it holds free and unbelievable sway in the daily lives of most African and the impact on our children is enormous and saddening. We cannot afford it to continue.

Thank you for visiting today. Do have an INSPIRED day. I charge you to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…

March 24: The ChildProtectionCREED™ Day: A Statement of Declaration

17 years ago I received a divine mandate to champion the cause of the African Child as it relates to his rights and protection from all forms of abuse. It was at a time when by divine intervention, I began my own journey of restoration from the impact of an abused childhood. My response to the call was immediate, though I had only very little knowledge of what the issues were and the solutions thereof. All I had going for me was my obedience and passion. As time went on, to my obedience and passion, I added knowledge, to my knowledge, I added skills and to my skills, I added attitude.

In no distant time, I began to benefit from divine orchestrations as began to have audiences with individuals and organizations, which are critical to the advancement of the cause of the African Child. In 2005, I began to work with UNICEF as facilitator and consultant. Between then and now, I have worked with many more individual and organizations, which are committed to the cause of the African Child within and outside the shores of the country in which I reside.

Today, after internal consultations with my team and external consultations with friends, comrades and mentors, in response to what I perceive strongly to be a divine instruction, I declared today, Monday, March 24, 2014 as The ChildProtectionCREED™ Day (TCD).  As from today, it is marked every year to call attention to the mandate received 17years ago: ‘To bring to the very front burner of private and public conscience and consciousness the PROTECTION, RIGHTS and RESPONSIBILITIES of the African child for due respect IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.’

The state of the African Child today is captured in a recent survey conducted by the United Nations on the state of the world children. The survey sadly reveals that never in the history of our world have our children been under the kind of siege and abuse they are today. The United Nations Survey exposes a shocking picture of physical, emotional, sexual abuses, neglect and mistreatment of children every corner of the countries of the world. The survey declares, ‘while abuse may be at its worst in the developing world, no country is guiltless.’

It is also a major and disturbing trend in Child Protection, the world over today that children are being mostly and are likely to be mostly abused and denied their rights by those, who are closest to them and by those who claim to protect them, including primary care givers like parents/guardians and secondary care givers like nannies, teachers and others and not by strangers as most people erroneously believe.

The United Nations Survey also reveals ‘International conventions on human rights for children have flatly failed to guarantee protections for the most vulnerable members of society,’

Why has the celebrated national and international legal framework failed woefully to protect our children from abuse?

What does the CREED stand for? CREED refers to Article of Faith; Statement of Belief; Value Code, upon which my Child Protection Social Intervention rests. It is my unflinching belief that the basis for peace and safety in the society is beyond law enforcement. I submit that the society must be interested in engaging higher code of human behavior to ensure peace and safety for the society, particularly our dear children. This higher code of human behavior is known as CREED and the natural enforcement agent of the CREED is the human conscience. The human conscience is trained by enlightenment.

Therefore, it is my fundamental CREED and approach to Child Protection that Enlightenment is Superior to Enforcement™. I have come to the irresistible conclusion that the law as an independent tool of child protection is as powerless as a paper tiger. Therefore, for the law to make sense, it must be mixed with enlightenment. It is my informed position that Enlightenment is Superior to Enforcement™ of the laws relating to children and their rights. The strength of enlightenment is that it leads to prevention of child abuse. ‘Prevention is better than cure.’ I align myself with the postulation of Benjamin Disreali that ‘when men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.’

Enlightenment is not an end in itself. It is a means to an end. The goal of enlightenment is Child Protection Social Policing™. Child Protection Social Policing™ happens where every primary and secondary custodian within the four (4) institutions (Family, Community, State and International Community) responsible for the protection of the child are equipped with Knowledge (what to do), Skills (how to do it) and Attitude (wisdom and inner strength) to professionally and effectively protect, preserve and defend the rights of the child, even at the cost of personal discomfort.  

The United Nations recently supported our position that Enlightenment is Superior to Enforcement™ as it submits, responding to child abuse cases is four times expensive as child protection and protecting children against violence.  

TCD seeks to promote the foregoing philosophy and strategy as a CREDIBLE, RESEARCHED, TESTED and VIABLE means of achieving an African Continent fit for children to live in safety and protection.

The inaugural TCD Annual Conference holds on March 24, 2015. The conference will be a gathering of primary and secondary caregivers, who are committed to best practices in child protection in Africa. If it is a shop at all, it shall be an ACTION SHOP for the protection of the DIGNITY of our CHILDREN and our FUTURE.

The conference will also provide us the opportunity of public presentation of the ChildProtectionCREED™ Academy Handbook and the ChildProtectionCREED™ Children Academy Illustrated Handbooks (Ages 0-5; 6-11 and 11 & above).

I will keep you posted…But note that today, history is being made silently and you are a privileged witness. In no long distance of time, I see the whole world coming together to mark The ChildProtectionCREED™ Day and all it represent. I find my authority for this assertion in a divine inspiration: ‘You will also DECREE a thing, and it will be ESTABLISHED for you; and LIGHT will SHINE on your ways.’ Job 22: 28.

Thank you for visiting today. Do have an INSPIRED day. I charge you to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…

A Day Before the Date of Birth

By this time tomorrow if God, in His infinite mercies permits, I shall add another year…
Journeying on in God-ordained destiny unto the appointed day of departure to rest in His bosom…
The last 17 years have been exceptionally interesting, proving God and His unflinching faithfulness…
I beseech you all, who read this message to join me in this three-dimensional birthday prayers:
1. That I will increase exceedingly in the KNOWLEDGE, REVELATION and the WISDOM of CHRIST, culminating in apprehending the PURPOSE for which He apprehended me before the world began…
2. That the LORD will order my THOUGHTS, WORDS, DEEDS and STEPS toward STRATEGIC, MEANINGFUL and REWARDING ALLIANCES in my PURSUIT of God-Ordained DESTINY in CHRIST JESUS…
3. That I will REMAIN FOCUSED and UNDISTRACTED to the heavenly mandate to bring to the FRONT BURNER of private and public conscience and consciousness the PROTECTION of the African CHILD…
Do have an INSPIRED week.
Taiwo Akinlami Sober on his knees on the LORD’s Day

Human and Social Hindrances to Child Protection: THE HOPELESS

These are people, who do not know how to stand by the child in difficult circumstances. They do not believe in the child enough to share in his infirmities and the shame thereof. They distance themselves from him at the slightest inconvenience. There is no single fibre of hope in their make-up and are easily driven into despondency. They cannot give direction to a troubled child. They add to the child’s problem through hopelessness and leave him to believe that change is not a possibility.

They do not understand that according to Clare Boothe, ‘there are no hopeless situations, there are only hopeless people.’ These are the types, who abandon their physically challenged children. They do not train their children how to respond to the challenges of life.

The other day I was at a popular secondary school in Lagos. I found a senior secondary school pupil weeping profusely in a corner. I approached her and asked her what the problem was. She responded by saying that her classmates were teasing her because she has ‘k-legs.’ I pulled her out and encouraged her. The pupil may be in a position to help herself if she had been trained by her parents on how to respond to the perception of others to her seeming disability.

A girl child once confided in her lesson teacher that she was tired of attending her school because she had been given a nickname as, Ori (head) because her classmates believe that the size of her head is abnormal. It was shocking that when the lesson teacher brought this to her mother’s notice, she did not empathize with her daughter. She only insisted that the child must continue in the school.

A lady once told me a pathetic story of a couple you hid their boy child for 17 years because of his physical disability. This boy was hidden from everyone and kept in a room. He was not sent to school.

These ones will not stand by their children when they run into trouble or they go through an unfavourable situation, like losing a game during inter house sports. They blame the child for everything. They forget that the child is a product of the environment they create for him and that the behavior of the child is a proof of their wisdom or foolishness.

Such spirit of hopelessness was not found in Grace Welch, the mother of Jack Welch, who helped her son to build his self confidence. Jack Welch related this story in his autobiography:  ‘It was the final hockey game of a lousy season. We had won three games in my senior year at Salem High School, beating Danvers, Revere, and Marblehead, but had then lost the next half dozen games, five of them by a single goal. So we badly wanted to win this last one at the Lynn Arena against our archrival Beverly High. As co-captain of the team, the Salem Witches, I had scored a couple of goals, and we were feeling pretty good about our chances. It was a good game, pushed into overtime at 2-2. But very quickly, the other team scored and we lost again, for the seventh time in a row. In a fit of frustration, I flung my hockey stick across the ice of the arena, skated after it, and headed back to the locker room. The team was already there, taking off their skates and uniforms. All of a sudden, the door opened and my Irish mother strode in. The place fell silent. Every eye was glued on this middle-aged woman in a floral-patterned dress as she walked across the floor, past the wooden benches where some of the guys were already changing. She went right for me, grabbing the top of my uniform. “You punk!” she shouted in my face. “If you don’t know how to lose, you’ll never know how to win. If you don’t know this, you shouldn’t be playing.

I was mortified in front of my friends but what she said never left me. The passion, the energy, the disappointment, and the love she demonstrated by pushing her way into that locker room was my mom. She was the most influential person in my life. Grace Welch taught me the value of competition, just as she taught me the pleasure of winning and the need to take defeat in stride.’

Thank you for visiting. I charge you today to Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…Do have an INSPIRED day.