We live in a society that often majors in the minor and neglects the major, only to express shock when the consequences of our misplaced priorities unfold. This is not just a Nigerian problem, it is a global pattern.

Regarding the recent incident involving a UNIZIK undergraduate allegedly assaulting a lecturer, we must resist the urge to sensationalize the event without deeper reflection. A society gets the kind of young people it cultivates. While we must unequivocally condemn and reprimand the behavior (not the individual), we must also ask ourselves: How was she socialized?

A young person does not develop in isolation. She is a product of her environment, upbringing, societal influences, and systemic conditioning. The responsibility of raising children does not rest solely on biological parents. At the heart of the Power Parenting ideology is the understanding that raising children is a collective responsibility. Every individual who crosses a young person’s path plays a role in shaping them, family, educators, community, media, and societal structures all contribute.

Yet, in response to her actions, we have chosen public shaming, circulating her pictures as though this mistake should define her entire existence. She is innocent until proven guilty. No matter how wrong her actions may be, due process must be followed, and justice must be tempered with mercy.

Three Key Reflections:

1️⃣ Understanding Root Causes Over Sensationalism

Rather than just condemning young people for who they have become, we should be more invested in understanding how they got here. If we focus on the root causes of dysfunctional behavioral patterns, we can prevent similar occurrences instead of merely reacting to them.

2️⃣ Toxic Power Dynamics in the University System

If we must be holistic in our approach, we must consider this: while student violence against lecturers is absolutely unacceptable, and we deeply empathize with this lecturer, who has been widely described as a perfect gentleman, we must also acknowledge the toxic power dynamics within academic institutions. Many students endure mistreatment, intimidation, and undue hardship at the hands of those meant to guide them, making their educational experience unnecessarily difficult. True reform requires a balanced conversation, one that condemns misconduct from students while also addressing the abuse of power by lecturers. Only then can we build a fair, just, and respectful learning environment for all.

3️⃣ Justice, Not Social Execution

This young woman should face the consequences of her actions as prescribed by the law, but her mistake should not define her entire future. If this were our own child, would we handle it differently? Our outrage should not override our sense of justice and fairness.

Public shaming does not reform society; it only deepens wounds. Research has shown that humiliation does not deter crime or misconduct—it merely fuels further resentment and hopelessness.

History tells us that even when public executions were used as a deterrent, crime did not cease. Naming and shaming alone does not change society—a culture of discipline, accountability, and guidance does.

The way forward is not to destroy young people when they make mistakes, but to build a society where discipline is a lived culture, not just a reactionary measure. Discipline should not be a topic for debate only when young people go astray—it must be modeled daily in our homes, schools, and institutions.

That is the lesson we must learn from the Icelandic model, which I explore in my book, Transforming Child Discipline into a Culture of Discipline. This model, which has been successfully replicated worldwide, transformed Iceland’s once delinquent youth population into one of the most well-adjusted groups globally.

If we want real change, we must move beyond public blame and outrage to systemic transformation and proactive solutions. That is the only way forward.

Let’s tread cautiously and seek solutions that truly make a difference. At any rate, only those who are without sin—whether in their youth or adulthood—should be quick to cast the first stone. Selah!

#JusticeWithMercy #PositiveDiscipline #FixTheSystem #AccountabilityNotShaming #BuildingBetterSociety #DisciplineNotDestruction #RaiseWithWisdom #ReformNotRuin