Opening Charge

 ‘One of her attributes, which caught my attention, was her readiness to admit her wrong and apologise accordingly to the children. She sometimes would hug the children and would weep in compassion as she apologises to them or takes time to explain her point of view. You would have thought that the children would take advantage of her kind-hearted disposition. No, they did not they appreciated her for that. In fact they love her dearly. When we deliberately admit our humanity and foibles in our relationship with people, including children, it wins us honour and cooperation. But when we shield them and the people find out, which they are bound to, they lose respect for us.’

Please join me today as I share with you the 22^nd core habit of a purposeful, disciplined and effective disciplinarian: Apologise if wrongly accused the child

Mrs Elisabeth is an unusual custodian. She has taught in the college for some years. She is the hero of many of the pupils, who have passed through her. She is not perfect like every custodian and she is quick to tell you so. The question is, why does she stand out in the midst of all her fellow teachers? Well, it is very simple. She has no point to prove with the pupils. She is simply naked and not ashamed. She is strict and yet tender. She is firm and yet humane. She is decisive and yet considerate. The pupils celebrate her in no small way. Despite her firmness and strictness, the pupils want to be around her all the time. When the school goes on break, the pupils are not too happy because they would miss the company of Mrs Elisabeth.

Mrs Elisabeth is also a mother and grandmother. She sees the children like her own children and treated them so. One of the pupils was asked, what he would like to become when he grows up. His response was very instructive, ‘I will like to become Mrs Elisabeth kind of teacher.’ As Mrs. Elisabeth once said, ‘it is an indictment on us teachers that many of the pupils, who have gone through us, do not want to become like us or pursue the teaching profession. It simply means we are not their role models.’

I think Mrs Elisabeth just hit the nail on the head. One of her attributes, which caught my attention was her readiness to admit her wrong and apologise accordingly to the children. She sometimes would hug the children and would weep in compassion as she apologises to them or takes time to explain her point of view. You would have thought that the children would take advantage of her kind-hearted disposition. No, they did not they appreciated her for that. In fact they love her dearly. When we deliberately admit our humanity and foibles in our relationship with people, including children, it wins us honour and cooperation. But when we shield them and the people find out, which they are bound to, they lose respect for us.

The story of Mrs. Elisabeth is very instructive. It teaches us to be ready to acknowledge our humanity and foibles in our dealings with children, particularly in the process of discipline. Since we are human, we are bound to make mistakes. We are bound to commit errors of judgement, even when we have done the best of due diligence and apply caution. In most cases mistake is not a result of carelessness. It is a proof of our humanity. That is why we must know how to differentiate between mistakes and foolishness. Mistake is nothing to be embarrassed about. When we do not accept our mistakes and apologise accordingly when we try to discipline the child, it simply means we are not disciplined with our emotion. It is also means we are teaching the children not to admit their mistakes too in their dealings with others, children and adults. It means we are teaching them to deny their humanity.

Why do we find it difficult to admit our wrong when we discover or it is pointed out to us by another that we are wrong in our judgement in matters relating to child discipline? Or why will a custodian not be able to stand a child coming to him or her to respectfully question her judgement? I think the only answer I have found is lack of insecurity on the part of the custodian.

Once a custodian is not secured, he/she gets into point-proving with the children under his/her care. And once point-proving takes root it gives birth to unhealthy competition and unhealthy competition gives birth to tension and tension gives birth to chaos and chaos gives birth to bitterness. It is important to say that once a custodian begins to get into point-proving with the children under their care, the children will not respect them enough to take instructions from them. In fact once point-proving takes the centre stage, the custodians have lost the child completely and would never be in a position to influence the child.

I think I should round off here. I hope your visit here today has been worth the time. I believe God to be back tomorrow. Do not forget my admonition today; when we find out that we are wrong in our judgement or assessment upon which we based our chastisement of the children under our care, we should not only be ready to apologise, we must also be ready to give reason for our apology. Stay INSPIRED.

Think the child…Think Today…Think Tomorrow…

POINT 2 PONDER:

‘Once a custodian is not secured, he/she gets into point-proving with the children under his/her care. And once point-proving takes root it gives birth to unhealthy competition and unhealthy competition gives birth to tension and tension gives birth to chaos and chaos gives birth to bitterness.’

NOTE THESE:

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