50PlusDad Reflection

Yesterday, Sunday, October 25, our precious TieriayoOluwa turned five.

And what a day it was!

He chose how he wanted to celebrate his birthday.

LEGOLAND!

And so, off we went.

He played, jumped around, made new friends and even met a birthday mate, another child turning five on exactly the same day.

There was food, cake and plenty of excitement.

This morning, I asked him:

“How did you feel about your birthday?”

“I enjoyed it,” he replied.

Later, when his teacher asked about the celebration, he gleefully began counting the gifts he received.

And there were quite a few!

Without any solicitation, family and friends, entirely of their own volition, sent presents and gift cards from Nigeria, the United Kingdom and different states across the United States.

Of course, Daddy, Mummy, Grandma, uncles and cousins celebrated him too.

There were calls, prayers, messages and thoughtful gestures from loved ones near and far.

Watching him enjoy all this brought back a memory.

Many years ago, I attended the birthday celebration of a girl whose family was very close to ours.

I had rushed from work and arrived around 8 p.m.

Shortly after I settled in, the girl, about six years old, turned to her father and said:

“But Dad, nobody brought me a gift.”

I heard her.

And I understood.

I quietly excused myself, told her parents I would return, and hurried to the nearest shopping mall.

I could not bear the thought of her birthday ending with that disappointment.

I returned with a gift.

That experience has stayed with me.

Children want to know that they matter.

The value of a gift is not merely in what it costs.

It is also in what it communicates:

Someone remembered me.

Someone thought about me.

I matter.

Tieri had been announcing his approaching birthday for weeks.

“I’ll be five! I’ll be five!”

He was looking forward to being celebrated.

And yesterday, he experienced what it means to be remembered, appreciated and celebrated.

As I have often said:

LOVE TO CHILDREN MEANS APPRECIATION AND ATTENTION.

Appreciation communicates:

You are valued.

Attention communicates:

You are worth my time, presence and thoughtfulness.

Both help shape how children see themselves.

Gifts matter. But so do the telephone calls, the listening ear, the presence and the time deliberately set aside.

And as I watched our son running around LEGOLAND yesterday, my mind travelled further backwards.

To a doctor’s office.

To my wife sitting beside me.

To those unforgettable words, fifteen years into our marriage:

“Congratulations. You’re pregnant!”

I remembered the pregnancy.

The anticipation.

The prayers.

And the early hours of October 25, 2021, when our precious son arrived.

I was 51.

What filled my heart that morning was something I have come to describe as:

RESPONSIBLE JOY.

Joy and responsibility, inseparably joined.

Because the joy of having a child cannot be separated from the responsibility of raising that child.

As I wrote in my reflection ahead of his fifth birthday:

The blessing of parenting is in the burden of parenting.

Five years later, I remain convinced.

The child whose arrival we celebrated is growing before our eyes.

He has preferences.

He makes choices.

He builds relationships.

He remembers kindness.

He is becoming.

And so am I.

Every passing year calls us to become more intentional about the responsibility entrusted to us as parents.

To love.

To appreciate.

To pay attention.

To guide.

To keep showing up.

Because the joy is in the responsibility, and the responsibility is part of the joy.

My precious Tieri, I am grateful you enjoyed your fifth birthday.

May you always know that you are deeply loved, valued and appreciated.

And to everyone who remembered him, called, prayed, sent gifts or helped make his day memorable:

Thank you for helping us communicate love to our son.

We do not take your thoughtfulness for granted.

50PlusDad

RTHDAY: THE JOY, THE LOVE AND THE RESPONSIBILITY

50PlusDad Reflection

Yesterday, Sunday, October 25, our precious TieriayoOluwa turned five.

And what a day it was!

He chose how he wanted to celebrate his birthday.

LEGOLAND!

And so, off we went.

He played, jumped around, made new friends and even met a birthday mate, another child turning five on exactly the same day.

There was food, cake and plenty of excitement.

This morning, I asked him:

“How did you feel about your birthday?”

“I enjoyed it,” he replied.

Later, when his teacher asked about the celebration, he gleefully began counting the gifts he received.

And there were quite a few!

Without any solicitation, family and friends, entirely of their own volition, sent presents and gift cards from Nigeria, the United Kingdom and different states across the United States.

Of course, Daddy, Mummy, Grandma, uncles and cousins celebrated him too.

There were calls, prayers, messages and thoughtful gestures from loved ones near and far.

Watching him enjoy all this brought back a memory.

Many years ago, I attended the birthday celebration of a girl whose family was very close to ours.

I had rushed from work and arrived around 8 p.m.

Shortly after I settled in, the girl, about six years old, turned to her father and said:

“But Dad, nobody brought me a gift.”

I heard her.

And I understood.

I quietly excused myself, told her parents I would return, and hurried to the nearest shopping mall.

I could not bear the thought of her birthday ending with that disappointment.

I returned with a gift.

That experience has stayed with me.

Children want to know that they matter.

The value of a gift is not merely in what it costs.

It is also in what it communicates:

Someone remembered me.

Someone thought about me.

I matter.

Tieri had been announcing his approaching birthday for weeks.

“I’ll be five! I’ll be five!”

He was looking forward to being celebrated.

And yesterday, he experienced what it means to be remembered, appreciated and celebrated.

As I have often said:

LOVE TO CHILDREN MEANS APPRECIATION AND ATTENTION.

Appreciation communicates:

You are valued.

Attention communicates:

You are worth my time, presence and thoughtfulness.

Both help shape how children see themselves.

Gifts matter. But so do the telephone calls, the listening ear, the presence and the time deliberately set aside.

And as I watched our son running around LEGOLAND yesterday, my mind travelled further backwards.

To a doctor’s office.

To my wife sitting beside me.

To those unforgettable words, fifteen years into our marriage:

“Congratulations. You’re pregnant!”

I remembered the pregnancy.

The anticipation.

The prayers.

And the early hours of October 25, 2021, when our precious son arrived.

I was 51.

What filled my heart that morning was something I have come to describe as:

RESPONSIBLE JOY.

Joy and responsibility, inseparably joined.

Because the joy of having a child cannot be separated from the responsibility of raising that child.

As I wrote in my reflection ahead of his fifth birthday:

The blessing of parenting is in the burden of parenting.

Five years later, I remain convinced.

The child whose arrival we celebrated is growing before our eyes.

He has preferences.

He makes choices.

He builds relationships.

He remembers kindness.

He is becoming.

And so am I.

Every passing year calls us to become more intentional about the responsibility entrusted to us as parents.

To love.

To appreciate.

To pay attention.

To guide.

To keep showing up.

Because the joy is in the responsibility, and the responsibility is part of the joy.

My precious Tieri, I am grateful you enjoyed your fifth birthday.

May you always know that you are deeply loved, valued and appreciated.

And to everyone who remembered him, called, prayed, sent gifts or helped make his day memorable:

Thank you for helping us communicate love to our son.

We do not take your thoughtfulness for granted.

50PlusDad