‘Those in denial are not free to live and engage in meaningful relationships. They always have something to hide. They live in the fear of being discovered and they are suspcious… In most cases, they even deny the obvious when they are decoded. At the centre of self-denial is insecurity.’
Hello my dear friends. Sure you had a great time celebrating Valentine’s Day yesterday.
We disengaged from this series yesterday to share perspectives on the Valentine’s Day. I hope we found it helpful and inspiring.
I will like to continue with the second busstop in our journey of self discovery. It is called, Identify positive and negative impact of your childhood experiences. I have earlier explained that until we revisit our history, our journey of advancement will remain a frustrating mirage.
Going forward, I promised that I will discuss the posture or the mindset we need to possess to be able to embark on this all-critical exercise. Identying positive and negative impact of our upbringing, will require digging into our personal history. The truth is that this is not always an easy task. In fact, it is an exercise many are not be enthuastic about. It demands candour and candour demands maturity. Maturity in this case is the ability to look at yourself, assess yourself on the canvass of your mind and your childhood expereince and print out your findings.
While it may be easy to deal with postive experiences. It is more difficult to deal with negative experiences. Please let me quickly note here before I forget that no matter how abusive your childhood was, there would be one or two experience that would leave postive marks on you.
There are two categories of people who do not look at their past. Those who do not have enough emotional muscle to attempt it. These ones may accept that it is important but they will never attempt it. The other group is those who attempted to dig into their personal history but decide to live in denial of their findings. Please note that to live in denial is not to live at all. Those in denial are not free to live and engage in meaningful relationships. They always have something to hide. They live in the fear of being discovered and they are suspcious. They hate it when they are confronted and they avoid those who confront them. In most cases, they even deny the obvious when they are decoded. At the centre of self-denial is insecurity.
My advice is that we must make up our minds to take a look at our lives and identify postive and negative experiences of our childhood. It is not an easy task but it is a necceary task for which we have been empowered by God. We must be ready to find and face the most brutal facts of our past.
The goal is for us to validate the postive experiences as a template for personal advancement and to decide to lead ourselves out of the impact of the negative experiences. The goal is not for us to become bitter against the custodians of our childhood or find ourselves guilty for the errors of our abusive childhood. The goal also is not for us to become overlaoded with our finding and become despodent and frustrated. The purpose would have been defeated.
Please note that the above recommended execrsise cannot be done in a hurry. It takes time, if not a lifetime. Therefore, it becomes a neccessity to be patient and focused. I must also say that this is a journey it may not be safe for you to embark upon alone. You will need the support of an informed third party, preferably, one, who has dealt with the situation you are trying to deal with.
I charge you today to embark on this journey today and pray to God, who created you in His own image and likeness to help and give you direction. Please note that it may be sucidal to embark on a treatment without proper disgnosis. Have an INSPIRED Day.
I’m Taiwo Akinlami & I Lead the TeacherFIRE™ Revolution
POINT 2 PONDER:
‘My advice is that we must make up our minds to take a look at our lives and identify postive and negative experiences of our childhood. It is not an easy task but it is a necceary task for which we have been empowered by God. We must be ready to find and face the most brutal facts of our past.’
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