To My Child: 12 Commandments for Your Difference in 2014: Go for Meaningful Relationships:

It is a beautiful day my dear child. It is the day that the Lord has made and it comes with this inscription of good news, ‘we WILL rejoice and be glad in it.’ I am very glad to be here with you my dear child. I have come to know that being glad is a decision. It does not depend on circumstances. That is why you see, with me there is no dull moment.

Let me proceed to continue to discuss the commandments, I believe will stand you out among your many peers this year:

9. Go for meaningful relationships: my dear child, it is a common saying that a tree does not make a forest. That it is common does not make the wisdom it promotes common. In fact the earlier you come to terms with this wisdom, the better for you my dear child. What does this wisdom really say? It says we are created for relationships. It says we will never advance above the relationships we are committed to. It says the most profitable venture in the world today is what I call the business of people. Let me break it down, Zig Ziglar says you get what you want by helping enough people to get what they want. You see, my dear child, everything you want in life in the hand of someone. You may be wondering that I always say everything is in the hand of God. Yes, that is true my dear child. It is God, who empowers men and women to give to us. But if we fail to relate with anybody or learn how to keep meaningful relationships with people, how do we intend to receive what belongs to us.

The question now is what is meaningful relationship? A meaningful relationship is the one, which add value to you and the one you add value to. It is a relationship, which counts as important what, is important to you. And when your friend does not agree with you, he/she does not pull you down or make you an object of ridicule.

Do you know what I have discovered in my interactions with many of the people in your age group? Many of you do not understand the real meaning of relationships or friendship and this is very sad. You relate with people, who brings nothing to your face but tears and nothing to your emotion but sadness and nothing to your heart but sorrow. Yet you call them friends. I remember the story of a thirteen year old child, who I counseled at the instance of her parents. She said to me that her friends have a way of saying unpleasant things about her to the point that she now believes them that she is a mistake. She told me she believes that God can make a mistake and she is a perfect example of God’s mistake. The first question I ask her is that if the people you call your friend make you feel this way, how would your enemies make you feel? I told her that with friends like these you do not need enemies. I was able to show her that friends come into your life to make you happy and not to make you sad and give you a name God has not given you. Friends come to add value and colour to your life. I was able to convince her that she should disengage from those friends and believe God for meaningful friends. I told her she does not need to go and meet her so-called friends to tell them she will not relate with them again. She should just take her decision and stick to it in action. I also told her as I told you before that she must not allow hatred and prejudice to set in. She should consider her experience as a lesson in life, take responsibility that she was the one who either chose or allow those people to be her friends and keep the lessons as instructions in choosing or allowing people to be her friends in the future.

I told a group of young people that there are no permanent friends but permanent interests. One of them asked that if I was saying they should get into every relationship with interest and I said yes. I further said that the interest must not be selfish but it must be mutual. You may get close to a friend because you want to help him/her in a subject he/she is struggling with. That is an interest. You may see certain habits in a person, which you want to imbibe. That is an interest. It may not be the best idea to get into a relationship without knowing why. Myles Monroe says when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Do you understand my dear child? Mutuality means parties in the relationship are also fully aware of the reason why are there and are not ashamed of it.

Well, let me say my last few words about friendship. I believe that the foundation of any friendship is compatibility of values. You attract the kind of people you are. I guess that is why a popular adage says, ‘show me your friend and I will show you who you are.’ I will show you in another of our discussion how to be a person of value. I believe the discussion on values will help you to be the kind of person who desire to see in others.

I think I should round up this discussion by talking about relationship with the opposite sex. I think the same principles apply. I do not suggest you run away from the opposite sex. I suggest you learn to build healthy relationships with them. Having a healthy relationship with the opposite sex will help you to relate well with all. By the time you flip back to our discussions on respect for priority and live to love, you will have better understanding in this area and how to create the necessary boundaries. May the Lord, who gave you to me and assigned me a custodian, continue to grant you wisdom in all these things.

One last thing my dear child, do not hide your friends of both sexes from me. Please feel free to introduce them to me and allow them to come to visit. Be sure that I will observe them and tell you my candid opinion about them.

I think I should end our discussion here today.  Do have a beautiful and INSPIRED day. I am very proud of you.

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