These ones do not take it easy with themselves or with their children. They consistently forget that no one is perfect and that their children do not expect them to be perfect. All that is expected of them is to be comfortable with their mistakes and teach the children under their care to do same. The perfectionist sees the child as a balm with which to massage his ego.

Their first error begins with the fact that they want to be perfect custodians of the life of the child. Therefore they find it difficult to analyze their mistakes, immortalise the lessons as a keys to better decisions in future and above all forgive themselves. Their second error is that they want to raise perfect children. Therefore they become snares to their children loading them with rules that no man, even an adult is created to follow.

For example many custodians today rob their children the right to play. They want them to be perfect in education. Yes, this is a noble desire, which must be pursued with wisdom and skill. Their children, particularly from upper primary school age go to school in the morning; return at about 3.00PM and a home lesson teacher is already waiting for them at home. The home lesson teacher takes the child from about 3.30PM to 7.30PM. By the time they are through, the child is tired and ready to sleep. Weekends are not an exception to these gruelling experiences the child is taken through in the name of receiving education.  This implication of denying a child of his right to play under any guise is found in the testimony of Michael Jackson. He sadly told his story:

Have you seen my Childhood?

I’m searching for the world that I come from

‘Cause I’ve been looking around

In the lost and found of my heart…

No one understands me

They view it as such strange eccentricities…

‘Cause I keep kidding around

Like a child, but pardon me…

People say I’m not okay

‘Cause I love such elementary things…

It’s been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood

I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?

I’m searching for that wonder in my youth

Like pirates in adventurous dreams,

Of conquest and kings on the throne…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,

Look within your heart then ask,

Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I’m strange that way

‘Cause I love such elementary things,

It’s been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?

I’m searching for that wonder in my youth

Like fantastical stories to share

The dreams I would dare, watch me fly…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.

The painful youth I’ve had

Have you seen my Childhood…

The irony is that if custodians have stopped for a moment to take a look at their own lives, they would have found that they themselves have not been able to follow the rules they load their children with or endure as adults, the experiences they take their children through.

While we have a responsibility to raise our children well, we do not have the responsibility to be perfect or give our children the impression that we are perfect or give the children the perspective of life that they have to be perfect or relate with only perfect people. When a child is raised by a perfectionist he becomes fastidious and if care is not taken, he repels people.  I urge the perfectionist, the words of Dr Henker: ‘stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him.’

Thank you for visiting today…I charge you Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE… Do have an INSPIRED day.