The child is always in the midst of many interests. There is hardly anyone who comes into the life of the child without an interest.
The challenge I have seen however is that many of our interests in the child, particularly in Africa, hardly include the interests of the child.
I think there is a new exclusions we need to begin to discuss:
a.we exclude the child from our interests in him/her
b. we exclude the child in deciding our interests for the child.
We have these arrogant assumptions that we know what the interest of the child is and we can always represent same.
I have also noticed that it is characteristic of the African caregivers to conform the child to his/her Interests. Often, primary and secondary caregivers have diverse and divergent Interests. Institutions, like schools and religious places of worship has interests. Since the Interests of these handlers are never conceived and executed in uniformity, the child becomes an unfortunate recipient of cacophony of interests to which every of his/her handler demands compliance. The child is now cut between many diverse and divergent Interests, being peddled by those who are in primary and secondary authority over his/her life. The result of this difficult experience for the child is that he/she wants to comply with all the interests, since all the handlers advancing them have one form of authority or the other. The attempt to comply to all interests leads the child to develop multiple personalities. From there, he/she becomes confused about his/her identity and frustration defines his/her existence.
I have also noticed that primary and secondary caregivers do not communicate their interests to the child through reasoning with the child. It is forced down the throat of the child. We always forget that the child is a reasoning being and force does not achieve anything with him/her, except pretence, fear, trepidation and rebellion.
I have also found that interests of caregivers change from time to time. For instance, the interests of couples in children when they live together in holy matrimony often change when they are separated or divorced. The child, who is never the cause of the change in marital status is not only expected to conform to the new interests as if he/she is a machine with no human feelings, he/she is forced to conform. This is done without any expressed regrets or apology to the child.
Here is the dilemma of the child, who is born with all of his/her interests is that the interests of the caregivers are not in conformity with his/her’s and yet their interests are being foisted on him.
Another thing we do is that when the child makes an attempt to find and give expression to his/her interests, we look down on same, particularly where it is not a popular interest and we force them through all forms of bizarre treatments to stop expressing such interests.
The foregoing experiences constitute nothing but an anihilation of the essence of the child. It is in fact a very tragic experience for the child. As far as the child is concerned, it is better for him/her to die than to live and be stipped of all his/her interests.
I was a child, whose handlers never care to find out not to talk of respect his interests. For example, I was published for expressing my interest in talking. My name was in the list of noisemakers and disturbers everyday and every week respectively. The noisemakers were canned in class before their classmates but the disturbers were canned on the Monday morning assembly before the entire school.
The gift of talking that needed to be managed was demonized and qualified for public disgrace and exorcism.
Between exclusion and diverse and divergent interests of caregivers/handlers the child’s interest is lost. Once the interest of the child is lost, it probably takes a lifetime for the child to find it, he/he ever does.
Yet every child is born with his/her unique interests, installed by the creator.
What exactly do I mean by interests of children? What are the subjective and objective components of these interests? What do refer to as THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD?
How do we as handlers recognise these unique interests?
At what age do we begin to watch out for the interests of our precious children?
What tools do we use in this expedition of deliberately recognising the interests of our precious children?
How do we nurture the interests into maturity for the benefits of the child, his/her immediately family and humanity as a whole?
How do we include our precious children in recognising and building their interests?
I, The Preacher will answer all of these questions at our S.A.F.E™ School of STANDARDS, earlier slated for February 23, 2019 but has to be postponed now that the election has claimed the date.
A new date will be communicated later… Please watch out and watch this space.
Do have an INSPIRED week.
Yours IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD,