This begins with understanding the purpose of raising children.
Mentoring: mentoring is one of the inevitable responsibilities of every responsible custodian of the child. By mentoring we refer to a WISE and TRUSTED counsellor or coach. I will like emphasise the inevitable roles of WISDOM, which must be deliberately acquired and TRUST, which must be build with faith, time, discipline and patience.
Here are the words of Susan Wesley:
‘I am a woman, but I am also the mistress of a large family… I cannot but look upon every soul…under my charge as a talent committed to me under a trust. I am neither a man nor a minister, yet as a mother and a mistress I felt I ought to do more than I had yet done. I resolved to begin with my own children; in which I observe, the following method: I take such a proportion of time as I can spare every night to discourse with each child apart. On Monday I talk with Molly, on Tuesday with Hetty, Wednesday with Nancy, Thursday with Jacky, Friday with Patty, Saturday with Charles…’
Modelling: It is an established truth that children look to the custodians for direction. Such direction is not necessarily by what the custodians say but by what they do. Let share with you profound principles on modelling:
Margaret E. Stephenson in her forward to Maria Montessori’s ‘The Secret of Childhood’ submitted: ‘in whatever country a child may be born is endowed with what Dr. Montessori called the ‘the absorbent mind…’ This absorbent mind does not only take language and reproduce it. It absorbs all that makes for the culture of the country and creates the native, the man of a particular time and place. Did the Frenchman learn to be French, the American, American, the Hindu, Hindu after he entered school? The absorption of culture, of customs, of ideas, ideals, of sentiments, feeling, emotions, religion, take place during the period of the absorbent mind, in the child from zero to six. This quite obviously is going on all over the world.
‘Dr. Wade F. Horn in his article, ‘Why There Is No Substitute for Parents,’ in the book Profiles of Success as follows:‘Parents socialize children through two mechanisms. The first is teaching through direct instruction reinforced by a combination of rewards and punishments for acceptable and unacceptable behavior. The second is teaching by example. Of the two, the latter is the more important mechanism since most complex human behavior is acquired through observational learning. Children are much more likely to do as a parent does than as parent says. This is why parents who lie and cheat tend to raise children who lie and cheat, despite any direct instruction to the contrary. As Benjamin Franklin once observed, the best sermon is indeed a good example.
Brian Mast wrote as about Zig Ziglar as follows: ‘His mother worked hard to keep the family going, and Ziglar adds, “She was not only the hardest-working person I’ve ever known, but she was probably the wisest person I’ve ever known” Though she had only a fifth-grade education, her insight helped shape Ziglar’s thinking. Even at a young age, he remembers noticing that some children had things he didn’t have, but he was grateful for a loving mother who had great faith and raised her children on hard work and character.’
In view of the recognition of the impact of modelling on children upbringing, the custodians of the mind of the child must make a commitment that the entirety of their life will be defined by visionary existence, purpose and principle-based living and missionary dedication in The-Best-Interest-of-the-Child.
Moulding: the goal of mentoring and modelling is moulding of the child in godly image. Mentoring and modelling is to provide a mode for the child to conform to. It must therefore be the ultimate goals of the custodians to ensure that children are moulded into a complete child.
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