Child’s Rights and Discipline: The UNCOMMON Theory (22)

Opening Charge

‘Let me say here unequivocally, that when we over discipline on a matter, we abuse the child and when we under discipline, we spoil the child. Abuse is an attack on the dignity of human person of the child. And when the child’s dignity of human person is successfully destroyed through abuse, the child may never live a responsible and disciplined life. On the other hand when a child is spoilt, it is an attack on his ability to take responsibility for his own life and future. Sadly, an abused child and a spoilt child are bound to suffer the same fate in life.  An abused child is too defeated to make a difference. A spoilt child is too irresponsible to live meaningfully.’

Hello fellow custodians, please join me as I share with you the 17th core habit of a purposeful, disciplined and effective disciplinarian: Consider the nature of wrong before the application of disciplinary measures:

Have you ever heard this saying, ‘using a sledge hammer to kill an ant.?’ I believe most of us have heard this more than a thousand times. It is saying decrying an overkill and overreaction to a matter. I think most of us custodians of the life of the child are fond of using a sledge hammer to kill an ant in respect of child discipline.

It must become a habit to put the disciplinary measure we want to employ and on the same scale with the wrong we want to correct. The law of our land does not recommend same sentence for every offence. If does so, it will not be justice. Therefore, the child, who is being corrected must not be under disciplined or over disciplined.

For us to be in a position to do the foregoing, we must make it our mandate to take time to establish a Home or Family Justice System, which takes time to observe in advance possible wrongs and the disciplinary measures to be attached. The Home or Family Justice System document must take into cognisance, the ability of the child to understand same, considering his state of development per time. The document must state clearly the objective(s) of the Home or Family Justice System, which must be the best interest of the child. The number one compliant with the Home Justice System must be the custodians if they must get the cooperation of the children under their care. By number one compliant, I mean the custodians must first of all live according to the provisions of the Home Justice System and second, they must have the discipline and patience to follow the tenets of the document, which emanated from them.

Let me say here unequivocally, that when we over discipline on a matter, we abuse the child and when we under discipline, we spoil the child. Abuse is an attack on the dignity of human person of the child. And when the child’s dignity of human person is successfully destroyed through abuse, the child may never live a responsible and disciplined life. On the other hand when a child is spoilt, it is an attack on his ability to take responsibility for his own life and future. Sadly, an abused child and a spoilt child are bound to suffer the same fate in life.  An abused child is too defeated to make a difference. A spoilt child is too irresponsible to live meaningfully.

The challenge is that we have most of the time is that we are not at home with the reality of the purpose of discipline in child development. As I have tried to explain here, the best interest of the child is not our focus. A lot of times what we call discipline is an expression of irritation, anger and frustration. We become pleased when we find outlet for our irritation, anger and frustration and it does not matter to us whether the child has learnt any lesson, which will advance his/her cause in life. Please note that irritation and anger may author an overkill while frustration may author an overlook.

I charge us to please begin to do all we can to be true and effective disciplinarian. Do have an INSPIRED Day.

Think the child…Think Today…Think Tomorrow…

POINT 2 PONDER:

‘It must become a habit to put the disciplinary measure we want to employ and on the same scale with the wrong we want to correct.’

NOTE THESE:

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