Dear Duty Bearer:
Sure you all had a great weekend with the family.
It is my plan to be with you here weekly, on Mondays but alas, I have been a prodigal writer. I have been absent without leave.
Today, I have come bearing the words and fruits if repentance; hoping, I will find favour in your beautiful sight. The fruits of repentance are superior to the words of repentance, hence I have added fruits to my words. Thought the fruits is in the seed form of a word, it is my committed intention that same will manifest and become flesh as time unfolds. So, what is my fruit of repentance? It is simply this, that i will not leave you this long again and I will come to you weekly, particularly on Mondays as long as I have breath.
I also appeal to you that I will continue and conclude the article, which I started since September…It is titled, Excuse Me Please, I want to Raise Spoilt Children!
But as I come back to you after a long time, let me comment on a video of a father, who put his children on trial on social media a while ago. I think the video generated a lot of attention and controversy for two major reasons: the first is that it was posted by a public figure and the second is that the the video seems to be making light of the impact of such exercise of the precious children now and in future.
The subject matter bears similarities with the topic I began in September and referred to above, hence I am resuming from there today.
All I want to do here is to ask some fundamental questions for your consideration. Let us set the questioning ball rolling…
I think the fundamental question here is , what exactly constitute child discipline?
Is there a difference between public trial and discipline?
Is it part of discipline to bring your children to the public square for a private matter (family matter)?
Would the arguments even have been different if the children have done the so-called misbehaviour in public?
How would we feel as adults if our private errors in the family are brought to the public square, since the children are not the only people who make mistakes in the home?
Would the person who posted the video want his spouse to discuss his private mistakes online or in public or even with a third party, most importantly without his consent?
If these children, could give consent do we think they will agree to their ‘trial’ video posted online? And even if they would have given their consent, would that have made it right for then?
If the mistakes of adults, which are often more grievous than that of children, because by their age they are supposed to be aware of their actions are brought, what would be the goal?
Is humiliation part of child discipline, considering the fact that the concept of shame for children is a very delicate one since their ego and sence worth is very fragile and is therefore easily opened to be being built into a healthy entity or bruised liability?
Where do we draw the line between discipline and undue exposure of children?
When does spoiling something at home become a major issue except the child did it deliberately and we are trying to break their will and mode it in the right direction, which we have established by example?
Even if this is a reality show, would this have been right?
What is the link between siblings fighting and breaking TV and if we say they broke it while fighting, where were their caregivers when they fought to the point of breaking TV?
Can the worth of the TV ever measure up to this public exposure and the impact of same on these precious young ones, whose minds are absorbent?
How would these precious children feel when they grow up and see this video?
If some of the foregoing questions could not be answered in the affirmative and we will frown if an adult is treated like this does not show that children are not seen or treated equally like adults and do we not wonder why?
When would our precious children be allowed to be children please?
If this was to score the humour point and the doer did it in a lighter mood, does the psyche of the precious children receive it in a lighter mood and when is it right to use our precious children as objects of humour?
If the doer of this deed were in a developed clime do you think he would not have considered the consequences so well before posting this video?
If these video has been posted in a developed clime do we think the doer will not have been answering some questions now both from Government and NGOs?
As Child-Focused Practitioners, do we not think we need to deepen our knowledge on how to Secure A Friendly and PROTECTIVE Environment for our precious children?
My questions are countless and I think I have asked enough for now…
This is Africa and in Africa anything goes, particularly when it is done by popular people…Africa is the most hit by what I call Social Populism…Once it is popular, it is right!
Africa is not NECESSARILY anti children but we are not DELIBERATELY pro children…
That is the point I have been making in my most recent piece on my blog www.taiwoakinlamiblog.com, titled, ‘Excuse Please, I want to Raise Spoilt Children.’
The inequality and inequity with which we relate with our precious children under many guises, the chief of which is child discipline is enormously disheartening…
Until we revisit our belief system about our precious children, Africa is going no where, I tell you the truth.
Until we face the brutal fact to name our troubled or truncated childhood for what it is and deliberately seek recovery, we will continue to parade our wounded souls and bruised identities as legacies and social memorabilia worthy of bequeathing to our precious children.
Is the 21st Century, where the world is advancing very fast in both good and evil and players are earning their place either for accolades or damnation and both are serious, we are here discussing this kind of thing, that the doer may have been questioned in a developed clime? I feel very ashamed and I weep for my continent…
Just as I was about to type, may God help us…I am quickly reminded that God has helped His humanity for He is not an irresponsible God, who needs to be beg and followed up on His promise, which He voluntarily gave…It is now our responsibility to come out of the prayer room into the war room or thinking room and do battle of the mind even as we continue to pray.
I am The Preacher of the Gospel According to Securing A Friendly and PROTECTIVE Environment for the Precious African Children. I do welcome your comments and observations.
Do have an INSPIRED day.