I was 27 years old when I became a follower of Jesus Christ.
I was already a divorcé, though I had never been married before.
I was divorced from the reality of my existence and the meaning of same, my childhood having being truncated. An ERASED childhood cannot birth RAISED adulthood.
I did not know who I was, not to talk of protecting myself enough to present myself for both platonic and intimate relationships. I lacked identity, freedom, peace, innocence, joy, fearlessness and all the virtues I needed to live a meaningful adult life, define and surmount the challenges of life, which is common to all.
I had also taken my first tutorials on the subject matter of marriage, observing the first one I came to know, the union of my parents. The notes I took from their example were not too impressive. I did not see love, fellowship, respect and fidelity observed in that union. I actually concluded that marriage was a union of two people, who could not stand each other but were forced to live together due to societal expectations.
Having met Christ and discovering that marriage is as strong or weak as the two people, who are joined together in it, I knew I needed healing from the impact of my troubled upbringing before I could attempt to join myself to another in marriage.
So I checked myself into the intensive care unit of God’s inner healing program. I placed myself on the age-long and divine therapy of mind renewal through His word. I began to experience changes in my life in small but progressive measures. I was soon out of the intensive care unit, but still continue the journey to wholeness. I have been a change pilgrim since 1997.
9 years after meeting Christ, at 36, I entered the institution of marriage and I have been there for 14 years.
My marriage is first guided by values that are compatible to my wife and I. It is on these values, we build our Family Constitution. Though my marriage, relatively young and has encountered its own challenges and I cannot lay claim to perfection, I can boldly call it happy and healthy as we keep working to make it happier and healthier under God.
I think barring some special circumstances, marriage is as strong or as weak as the male and female, who contracted it and the foundation of value on which the institution is built.
While there are plethora of social, economic and political reasons which may be responsible for the globally reported spike in cases of domestic violence, I think my first perspective is to address the foundation of the union that brought them to live together under same roof and also raise children.
While I accept that it is not every couple living together that are married and I do not exonorate domestic violence on that ground, I am focusing more in this piece on domestic violence within marriage, perpetrated again women, children and men.
The persons and foundation of the marriage institutions are today shaken to its root globally. The pressure that marriages are exposed to today are aggravated by the lockdown, which has become the leading response of governments around the world to the Covid-19 Pandemic.
Couples are locked down and they are in each other’s faces. There are no channels of escape to let off social and emotional stream. I think it is such condensed pressure that tests the contents of our intimate relationships and results in the increased cases of domestic violence as we see it today.
So what should ordinarily be a major advantage for relationships to get better by reason of opportunity for fellowship has become the nightmare of domestic violence.
It is now clear to us that the lockdown has become a double-edged sword, which will depend on the existing contents of the relationship of the people experiencing the lockdown.
I guess my space is up. I will discuss next week, other causes of domestic violence and what we can begin to do to address same immediately and on the long run.
Thank you, stay SAFE and do have an INSPIRED week.
I am Taiwo AKINLAMI and I remain Sober on My Knees this LORD’s day as I do SOCIAL PROTECTION ADVOCACY now and forevermore.