Growing up, I was raised a SELF-CHECK. That may not be the intention of my handlers, but their intention was not a prerequisite to the occurrence of the impact of their actions or omissions.
I was chastised for everything I did wrong and was never commended for anything I did right. I had no motivation to do what was right but I had the terror not to do what was wrong. The more I feared not to do wrong, the more I did wrong and the more I was subdued through the dehumanisation of merciless beatings and abusive words in the name of discipline.
Children do not do the right things under the fear of punishment but by the active and positive encouragement of the handlers, who keep the vision of the right behaviour before the children and teach them, first by example how to achieve the vision already shown to the children.
When you are raised as a SELF-CHECK, you become a person, who do not dare to take risks, for fear of consequences, who procrastinates, second-guesses yourself, overthink matters, suffering from analysis paralysis, fears to take ardacious steps and ‘live a life of obligation instead of intentions,’ to highlight some of the destructive symptoms of being a SELF-CHECK.
It has taken conscious effort and divine intervention to live above the traits enumerated above, yet it is a journey.
This childhood memory was brought back to me so strongly by one of the messages of Erwin McManus.
I connected nostrgically when said he was referred to as a SELF-CHECK in a basketball game; a player without an aspiration to win and does not believe in the worth of his contributions towards the victory of his/her team. He/she is ‘a really lame basketball player that can’t score. A player you don’t have to hold,’ according to Urban Dictionary.
To SELF-CHECK in life is to be your own number one and biggest hindrances to yourself. It begins from thinking you have little or nothing to offer in the face of the best of opportunities, though you have everything it takes to have a walkover.
Did you suffer the symptoms of a SELF-CHECK or are you raising your children as SELF-CHECK? It is time for sober reflection.
Do have an INSPIRED week.