This question came up on a Facebook Group I belong to and here are my responses


How do u help a stubborn 14years old girl stop sex, I need advice please

First I don’t think there is such thing like ‘stubborn’ 14 year old…

I do not also think it is a matter of general discussion…You may not be able to help her except you first understand her story…The behaviour is never the problem but the socialisation of the child, which I call her story…

So, there may be need for personal counseling with an expert to understand what the issues are before offering help…

It is like asking, how do I handle stubborn headache in a general forum…No doctor will make prescription without first diagnosing the patient because headache is one thing but the causes differ from persons to persons…

Principles are forever universal but the application are forever perculiar…

If you DM we I can help and make some recommendations.

Do have an INSPIRED week and thank you for your concern for this very precious child, who greatness cannot be in doubt by this very act or omission but by how we handle it… Thank you
As I post this, I again remember one of the programs of our NGO S.A.F.E™ for Children Society, S.A.F.E™ for ME Movement, under which we visit a School a month to deliver talks on how young people can take full responsibility for their Personal Safety and Self-Protection from all forms of abuse, any form of indulgences like sex and drug addiction.

It is our irresistible conclusion that in matter of Securing A Friendly and PROTECTIVE Environment™ for the precious African child, Enlightenment is Superior to Enforcement…Thus we are ready to be invited to your school to deliver this one-hour talk FREE OF CHARGE.

Send me a direct message to take advantage of this invaluable gift for the precious children under your care….

To learn how to help young people like this precious one, I personally invite you to attend The S.A.F.E™ School of STANDARDS ™ slated to hold on Saturday, March 30, 2019 in Lagos, Nigeria…You may also send me a Direct Message to secure your seat at the program…It is FREE but Registration is required

Do have an INSPIRED week.

The Preacher

#childprotection #care #safety #parenting #powerparenting #children



Today I go out to vote.
For who do I vote today?
I vote for conscience,
My own conscience,
I vote for the future,
My own future.

He is relegated to the background,
The background of issues,
And the background of actions.
He is out of school in over thirteen million,
He is denied of access to health in its basics,
Shelter remains a mirage of luxury,
He is not mentioned in the infrastructure of the stomach,
Violence is his lots in the name of discipline,
Abuses, emotional, sexual and neglect are now his closest companions.

He is a person of sorrow,
Acquinted with grief,
It seems these days, his life does not matter,
He is not seen,
And not heard,
He is called the underprivileged,
Yet, he is the denied,
He comes from the wombs of the hewers of wood and drawers of water,
The Fanon’s wretched of the earth.

I am The Preacher,
I vote for him who is not the ballot papers,
He is not ‘ATIKULATED’ for the NEXT LEVEL,
He is not accommodated on the wings of the THIRD FORCE,
I vote for my conscience,
I vote for my future,
I vote for my precious children,
I am father of so many.
My child, I vote for you today,
I vote for you always.

(C) 2019 by Taiwo AKINLAMI
The Preacher


The child is always in the midst of many interests. There is hardly anyone who comes into the life of the child without an interest.

The challenge I have seen however is that many of our interests in the child, particularly in Africa, hardly include the interests of the child.

I think there is a new exclusions we need to begin to discuss:
a.we exclude the child from our interests in him/her
b. we exclude the child in deciding our interests for the child.

We have these arrogant assumptions that we know what the interest of the child is and we can always represent same.

I have also noticed that it is characteristic of the African caregivers to conform the child to his/her Interests. Often, primary and secondary caregivers have diverse and divergent Interests. Institutions, like schools and religious places of worship has interests. Since the Interests of these handlers are never conceived and executed in uniformity, the child becomes an unfortunate recipient of cacophony of interests to which every of his/her handler demands compliance. The child is now cut between many diverse and divergent Interests, being peddled by those who are in primary and secondary authority over his/her life. The result of this difficult experience for the child is that he/she wants to comply with all the interests, since all the handlers advancing them have one form of authority or the other. The attempt to comply to all interests leads the child to develop multiple personalities. From there, he/she becomes confused about his/her identity and frustration defines his/her existence.

I have also noticed that primary and secondary caregivers do not communicate their interests to the child through reasoning with the child. It is forced down the throat of the child. We always forget that the child is a reasoning being and force does not achieve anything with him/her, except pretence, fear, trepidation and rebellion.

I have also found that interests of caregivers change from time to time. For instance, the interests of couples in children when they live together in holy matrimony often change when they are separated or divorced. The child, who is never the cause of the change in marital status is not only expected to conform to the new interests as if he/she is a machine with no human feelings, he/she is forced to conform. This is done without any expressed regrets or apology to the child.

Here is the dilemma of the child, who is born with all of his/her interests is that the interests of the caregivers are not in conformity with his/her’s and yet their interests are being foisted on him.

Another thing we do is that when the child makes an attempt to find and give expression to his/her interests, we look down on same, particularly where it is not a popular interest and we force them through all forms of bizarre treatments to stop expressing such interests.

The foregoing experiences constitute nothing but an anihilation of the essence of the child. It is in fact a very tragic experience for the child. As far as the child is concerned, it is better for him/her to die than to live and be stipped of all his/her interests.

I was a child, whose handlers never care to find out not to talk of respect his interests. For example, I was published for expressing my interest in talking. My name was in the list of noisemakers and disturbers everyday and every week respectively. The noisemakers were canned in class before their classmates but the disturbers were canned on the Monday morning assembly before the entire school.

The gift of talking that needed to be managed was demonized and qualified for public disgrace and exorcism.

Between exclusion and diverse and divergent interests of caregivers/handlers the child’s interest is lost. Once the interest of the child is lost, it probably takes a lifetime for the child to find it, he/he ever does.

Yet every child is born with his/her unique interests, installed by the creator.

What exactly do I mean by interests of children? What are the subjective and objective components of these interests? What do refer to as THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD?

How do we as handlers recognise these unique interests?

At what age do we begin to watch out for the interests of our precious children?

What tools do we use in this expedition of deliberately recognising the interests of our precious children?

How do we nurture the interests into maturity for the benefits of the child, his/her immediately family and humanity as a whole?

How do we include our precious children in recognising and building their interests?

I, The Preacher will answer all of these questions at our S.A.F.E™ School of STANDARDS, earlier slated for February 23, 2019 but has to be postponed now that the election has claimed the date.

A new date will be communicated later… Please watch out and watch this space.

Do have an INSPIRED week.
The Preacher


Today I give you my hymen,
It is all yours to break.
It is the celebration of our love,
Red love,
Blood love,
Let us stain your bed or mine with the blood from mine;
For this love cannot wait,
For if it must be called love, it must be hot,
Love is best engaged when it is hot,
For soon it may get cold and cake.
This is love in the fourth Industrial Revolution,
It waits for no one,
This love is fast,
This love is furious.

Are you quiet my loved one?
I have brought my hymen on platter,
It is a platter of gold,
No price to pay,
No persuasion to invent or invest,
Now, I believe all that you once told me:
Broke hymen is the insignia of love,
The Fourth Industrial Revolution love.
This is from me to you,
Asking you to make me a woman as you have always promised,
Do it this very day that love hovers in the air.
Make it memorable for me my loved one,
Please don’t let me go same way I came.

It is over?!
Just like that?!
Where is the woman in me?
I mean the woman I wanted you to make me?
Where is our love and it’s hotness?
Why has everything gone so cold, very cold?
And you too why are you now cold, my loved one?
Is this the memorable moments I seek?
Of guilt, shame, emptiness and withdraws and their syndromes?
My loved one, where are you, your promises of heaven on earth?
Did you not tell me, loved one:
‘your hymen, once broken for me, opens you up to my heart and the heavens therein?
Where is heaven?
Where is hell?
Where is earth?
Where is your heart?

My soul is in tears
My bed is drenched,
This is same bed where the blood of my dignity was shed and surrendered to the popular foolishness of the times.

It is not over,
I will not be quiet,
My story, I will tell like a redeemed parrot,
That today’s young ones may learn,
Even in the Fourth Industrial Revolution,
There is still dignity in sanity,
There is honour in purity;
Marriage is still honourable when the bed is not defiled before the ‘yes-I-do’ date.

Happy Valentine’s Day

The Preacher
(C) Taiwo AKINLAMI 2019


Few years ago my darling wife had a car crash on Third Mainland Bridge. Her car, in which she had two children from her school summersaulted. Good Samaritans rushed to the scene of the near fatal accident and they wanted to turn the car back to its normal position before bringing out the occupants. My dear wife, who is trained in paramedics, shouted with all of her strength from inside the summersaulted car, pleading with these good spirited Nigerians not to turn the car. She knew the consequences. Turning the car with the occupants there may now make a near fatal accident now become fatal.

Now, think with me:

1. For people to see an accident on Third Mainland Bridge and stopped to help, they are obviously kind and good spirited Nigerian.

2. Does their kindheartedness and good spiritedness confer on them the knowledge and skill of what to do and in which order?

3. If my dear wife did not know better, would their good intentions have saved the day?

4. Would the fact that they meant well change the dynamics for the best interest of the traumatized occupants of the car, if they had done the wrong thing?

That is the point… STANDARDS answer all things when it comes to CARE…It is CARE by all STANDARDS NECESSARY.

When we lack knowledge, skill and attitude in matters of STANDARS, our good intentions, kindheartedness, good spiritedness and commitment in Securing A Friendly and PROTECTIVE Environment™ for the precious African child may further put them in serious danger. We would have meant well but lack of understanding of STANDARDS would have neutralised all of our best intentions.

On Saturday, February 23 at Chrisland School, Ladipo Oluwole, off Adeniyi Jones, our S.A.F.E™ School of STANDARDS will hold, addressing STANDARDS and DOMESTICATION/CONTEXTUALISATION of same…

It is FRESH and NEW…It is BEYOND IMAGINATION, the contents you shall be exposed to.

You cannot afford to miss it if you are free on that day and you represent the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD as both primary and secondary caregivers.

It is a free event but registration is required to enable us plan for your attendance…Registration details are on the attached handbill and help spread the word.

Do have an INSPIRED day